Just Wait Until the Stars are Added

His name is John Suave but he's anything but suave in the eyes of the neighbors, who are outraged that the Titusville, Florida, man is painted his house the color of an Easter egg. Suave -- that name just kills me -- says he's just going for the "Key West look," and that it will all come together when he adds a line of bright stars around the top of the house. But he may have ulterior motives, according to this report by a Florida TV station.

"He told Channel 9 the paint job, what he called 'war paint,' was his way of fighting back against a handful of neighbors who kept reporting him to code enforcement," the station reports. "The city has cited him for his steel carport, the pool in the backyard and the gravel driveway he installed without a permit."

"I live in this neighborhood and I have neighbors, but they aren't very neighborly," Suave's wife, Bridget, told the station. This seems to be the couple's way of reciprocating. They're betting that the city can't do anything about what color they paint their house. I just hope they researched that thoroughly before breaking out the rollers.

Whatever their neighbors may think of them, the Suaves are personal heroes of mine. Who, when placed in similar circumstances, wouldn't fantasize about exacting a similar sort of revenge? Most of us just don't have the stones to go through with it.