Sunday, September 7, 2008

McCain Makes a Play for the College-Hopper Vote

In their search for dirt on Sarah Palin, the intrepid reporters of the AP have landed a Pulitzer-worthy scoop. She reportedly attended six different colleges, in three different states, in six years -- a fact that wasn't disclosed on her official governor's office biography!

When will politicians learn? It's not the college-hopping that kills you; it's the cover-up.

Palin's grades are shielded by pesky privacy laws, but one can imagine, given her obvious lack of stability in those years, that she was no Rhodes Scholar. And can't you just wait for the vice presidential debate zingers Joe Biden's brains are scribbling on cue cards, to be dropped on her, like an anvil, at just the right moment? "I guess it's not surprising that you've changed your position on earmarks, Governor," he'll quip, "given your repeated flip-flops on a choice of college." Or how about this one? "Do Americans really want someone with her finger on the nuclear button," Biden will ask, looking gravely into the camera, his hair plugs glistening with flop sweat, "who can't even make up her mind about what college to attend?"

It will bring the house down. She'll be crushed. Lloyd Benson (if he's still alive) will cable his congratulations, for the second greatest cut down in modern debating history.

But wait: Maybe this reaffirms the diabolical brilliance of McCain's choice. There must be millions of Americans who changed schools (I did) and feel guilty about it (I certainly do). Some of them more than once. They'll relate to Palin as a kindred spirit. They'll know that she feels their pain, and knows their secret shame. Putting another college-hopper in the White House is a chance for respect, and for redemption, and they'll line up en mass behind the McCain-Palin ticket?

Whether the college-hopper vote can overcome the community organizer vote, only time will tell. But this college-hopper's vote is going to the McCain-Palin ticket.

No comments: